about conversation

"My idea of good company ... is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."  ~ Jane Austen

Conversation is a fun word.  An overactive brain like mine revels in conversation.  When I contemplate the word 'conversation', the obvious picture of two people talking back and forth comes to mind.  But when you let the brain run past the obvious, it's an interesting subject to think about.  It's an exchange of information; a pronouncement of someone's opinion; a plea for help; a gift; a weapon.

Some conversations flow without much thought or effort....I have conversations with my best friend and mom daily. We talk about what we saw on the tv, Jesus, politics, what we had for breakfast and the interesting driving skills of the person we were following on the highway.  I had conversations with my kids when they were toddlers before they had any verbage that made sense to anyone but them.  (Those were actually lots and lots of fun for me - "oh?  you love mommy because she looks fabulous in sweats and a tshirt?  thanks baby.  no you may not eat out of the sugar bowl.")  I have conversations with our conure Cosmic Dave daily.  He has no idea that I am telling him my exact opinion of his pooping habits or that we don't particularly want to hear screeching right then.  He's happy anyhow. 

Lots of conversations don't have to have any words involved at all.  A smile, a hug, just sitting down by someone can be a conversation.  Hearts instead of sounds.

I know that people have many conversations online or texting with their cell phones.  I am one of those people.  I love my electronics.  But I have noticed that those conversations are lacking some key elements needed for me to always understand what's going on.  I can't see body language, or facial expression, or hear tone.  I think these are really vital to getting the complete message. And besides, there are so many acronyms out there now I think someone ought to write "THE TEXTING DICTIONARY" to help those of us born before cable tv.  It can come with an installable "WHAT?" button for our phones and computers.

In my opinion a good conversation involves willingness.  Being willing to hear as well as be heard.  This isn't always easy when we feel strongly about something and run up against an opinion contrary to our own.
I also think conversation is necessary.  We are a communicative people.  Look at that movie where Tom Hanks was stranded on an island.  He made a head out of a soccer ball or something so he'd have someone to talk with.  We call, text, email, smile, wink and glare.  We are constantly conversing.  Some of us even still use snail mail to communicate. (No offense, USPS, we appreciate you, how else would we get our Christmas cards?)

I've done a bible study 1.5 times (yes, 1.5) about conversation that really brought home the importance of conversation, and most importantly, how to behave in one.  I haven't always been successful at applying those lessons, but they have never left me.  I think the biggest thing that so often we don't realize is that conversation has power.  Even boring, awkward, one sided conversations have the ability to influence our day, our thoughts, our decisions.  Words have weight...whether spoken, written, or demonstrated.  Our ability to communicate and converse has given us amazing power to influence those around us, not just now, but down the road. 

There is nothing so dangerous for anyone who has something to hide as conversation!... A human being, Hastings, cannot resist the opportunity to reveal himself and express his personality which conversation gives him. Every time he will give himself away. ~Agatha Christie